Dear Hipsterhunter,

You are the fucking man. Reading what you write is akin to listening to music and feeling relief wash over you knowing you aren't crazy thinking the things that run through your mind as you watch your neighborhood get it's culture and history sucked dry from the twin fangs of gentrification.

I live in Astoria, Queens.

/rant

My neighborhood is practically fucked in ways that would not do it justice if I were to type a pages long rant about old residents moving because of rising rent, old familiar faces getting replaced by DINKS (double income no kids) and assholes with eating disorders and faux-hawks that make cred seeking scene girls and dirt-manufactured girls who are as punk as an episode of murder she wrote swoon, blush and giggle like a Dawson's Creek-esque senior strolling by a gaggle of hopeless freshman girls who'll get doped up on rophynol and klonopin before getting violated by some coked up asshole with Oasis playing in his head as he plows into her with his shade grown caffeinated/40 oz in a paper bag seed.

/end rant

Since the beginning of the year, a close friend of mine and I have been thinking about printing out a bunch of pages en masse and posting them up in trendy spots where the young professionals and their Mr. Hyde hipster counter-parts hang out, the Ditmars Blvd train station, Q-19/Q-19 A bus stops (and so forth) with papers that read:

Hipsters - Paying Morrisey's Rent since 2003

Hipsters - Leaving our working class homeless since 2009 (lolz!)

Hipsters - The white-washed trust-fund alligator shirt wearing apathetic shitheel of the 80's - today!

and the ever favorite

Burn in Hell Hipster Scum

Unfortunately, I am no good at stencils but the cloak of night, some moxie, and a good friend are all that would be needed. Your website gives me hope the same way an islamo-fascist gets a chubby whenever they watch an old beheading video before he relinquishes himself to attain the plethora of virgins in paradise in a blur of shouting aloud and a hoping the detonator works, saving himself an embarrassing execution (for more suicide bomber fun - http://www.rotten.com/library/religion/martyrdom/suicide-bombers/)

Thank you Hipsterhunter. At long last there is a voice of unreason against the manifestation of the fever-dream that has plagued our country since Jimmy Carter got swindled from the Whitehouse because of the Iran Hostage Crisis; there is hope.

And that voice is you. God bless you (If you're an atheist, Science bless you).

- Alex Stathatos